21-10-2025, 05:03 AM
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Article:
Getting on and still getting it on: a guide to older singles, dating and sex. The sexual revolution might be over but the baby boomer generation is still making sparks. Bettina Arndt reviews the scene for the over-50s and unattached.
Click here for mature women looking for men
By Bettina Arndt. It',s not how women in their 60s are expected to behave. George, 68, was a good catch, a retired Sydney lawyer, chatty, charming and well-read. When he first tentatively entered the online dating world three years ago, he was stunned by provocative sexual behaviour from women in his own age group. From the first meeting some women made their intentions clear. Massaging his crotch whilst standing at the bar ordering their first drink. Rubbing his thigh under the coffee table. Tongue kissing to say a first ",hello",. Brushing a braless breast repeatedly up against him. Finding an excuse to ask him home and then undressing before the front door had even closed. Loved up: 53 per cent of over 50s singles have either tried or would consider trying online dating. Credit: iStock. ",I certainly didn',t expect women to come on so strong,", says George, explaining that after some indulging in the bounties on offer, the novelty wore off. He',s now in a happy relationship with a somewhat more reticent woman he met online. His experience isn',t unusual. The current generation of seniors is no blushing bunch of old fogies ready to hang up their spurs. This is the baby boomer generation which came of age during the sexual revolution so it',s hardly surprising that when large numbers found themselves over 50 and unattached, many revelled in new opportunities provided by online dating to leap back into the saddle. Illustration: michaelmucci.com. The large numbers work in men',s favour. According to the 2011 census figures there are about 385,000 more unattached women than men aged 55-74 – about 915,000 women compared to 528,000 men. That',s a huge pool of older singles and many are enjoying having the internet to bring them together. According to 2014 Nielsen research conducted for RSVP most over 50s singles (53 per cent) have tried or would consider trying online dating. In the face of this stiff competition, women have become far more active. When RSVP, owned by Fairfax Media, started in 1997 males outnumbered females almost two to one – but gradually more women, particularly older women, have joined various sites and are now participating with enthusiasm. And for some that means not just approaching men but putting the hard word on them when it suits them. I',ve been working as an online dating coach for the past three years and among my clients are some very lusty women happy to acknowledge that while they are ultimately looking for a relationship they aren',t adverse to just a roll in the cot. ",If I meet someone I find attractive, I',d rather just jump into bed quickly and get the preliminaries over and done with. Chatting in bed has always been much easier than stiffly conversing over a cup of coffee,", says Andrea, a 66-year-old Melbourne woman who is revelling in such pleasures after a long sexual hibernation after becoming a widow. ",It is all a big adventure. As long as I am up front with myself and my partners, I reckon I can do what feels good and have a ball. No more fears of pregnancy, no more of those crazy messages like ',He',ll think you',re a slut', or ',He',ll think you are too easy',. What a load of rubbish all that was.", Performance problems. While these women usually find plenty of prospective partners keen to indulge with them, the ageing male body isn',t always up to it. When one of my older female clients contacts me with glad tidings – she',s met a lovely man and giving up dating to enjoy their new relationship – often she gets back in touch some months later to say they are struggling with an erection problem. That',s hardly surprising – with men in their 50s one man in two has some erectile dysfunction. By the 60s the numbers hit 60 per cent, 70 per cent for 70-year-olds. These are big numbers which means that lovemaking in this age group can often be a very bumpy road. Making matters worse is men often don',t want to talk about the problem. I',ve had a number of clients who have gone out for long periods with men who never touched them. A man may have good reason to take things slowly – an older father who still has youngish children may be just taking care not to get too quickly involved, given the high stakes for his family. There are also older men who just aren',t very interested in sex or who believe in waiting until the right person comes along – all sort of possible reasons why a man might not want to rush into a sexual relationship. But the erection issue looms large for many who prefer to avoid sex altogether than risk having sex and failing. The good thing is there are now very effective treatments available to help a man in this situation but it isn',t so easy for a woman to negotiate this with her new lover. ",It was all so hard, not wanting to pressure him into thinking I needed him to have a stiff dick. That was never the issue. He was the most generous and skilled lover and you don',t need an erection for giving pleasure. But I hated the fact he was feeling a failure and wanted to help him find a solution so he didn',t beat himself up over the issue,", commented one woman I helped through this difficult phase in their new relationship. So while some older online daters are enjoying all sorts of erotic adventures, many prefer to take it slow. The RSVP 2014 Nielsen research shows online dating is doing a good job helping these over 50s singles connect – 53 per cent report it',s led to a short-term relationship or new friendship whilst 12 per cent end up married or in long-term relationships. When to hop into bed. The research showed roughly a third of singles over 50 have slept with someone they met online.
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Article:
Getting on and still getting it on: a guide to older singles, dating and sex. The sexual revolution might be over but the baby boomer generation is still making sparks. Bettina Arndt reviews the scene for the over-50s and unattached.
Click here for mature women looking for men
By Bettina Arndt. It',s not how women in their 60s are expected to behave. George, 68, was a good catch, a retired Sydney lawyer, chatty, charming and well-read. When he first tentatively entered the online dating world three years ago, he was stunned by provocative sexual behaviour from women in his own age group. From the first meeting some women made their intentions clear. Massaging his crotch whilst standing at the bar ordering their first drink. Rubbing his thigh under the coffee table. Tongue kissing to say a first ",hello",. Brushing a braless breast repeatedly up against him. Finding an excuse to ask him home and then undressing before the front door had even closed. Loved up: 53 per cent of over 50s singles have either tried or would consider trying online dating. Credit: iStock. ",I certainly didn',t expect women to come on so strong,", says George, explaining that after some indulging in the bounties on offer, the novelty wore off. He',s now in a happy relationship with a somewhat more reticent woman he met online. His experience isn',t unusual. The current generation of seniors is no blushing bunch of old fogies ready to hang up their spurs. This is the baby boomer generation which came of age during the sexual revolution so it',s hardly surprising that when large numbers found themselves over 50 and unattached, many revelled in new opportunities provided by online dating to leap back into the saddle. Illustration: michaelmucci.com. The large numbers work in men',s favour. According to the 2011 census figures there are about 385,000 more unattached women than men aged 55-74 – about 915,000 women compared to 528,000 men. That',s a huge pool of older singles and many are enjoying having the internet to bring them together. According to 2014 Nielsen research conducted for RSVP most over 50s singles (53 per cent) have tried or would consider trying online dating. In the face of this stiff competition, women have become far more active. When RSVP, owned by Fairfax Media, started in 1997 males outnumbered females almost two to one – but gradually more women, particularly older women, have joined various sites and are now participating with enthusiasm. And for some that means not just approaching men but putting the hard word on them when it suits them. I',ve been working as an online dating coach for the past three years and among my clients are some very lusty women happy to acknowledge that while they are ultimately looking for a relationship they aren',t adverse to just a roll in the cot. ",If I meet someone I find attractive, I',d rather just jump into bed quickly and get the preliminaries over and done with. Chatting in bed has always been much easier than stiffly conversing over a cup of coffee,", says Andrea, a 66-year-old Melbourne woman who is revelling in such pleasures after a long sexual hibernation after becoming a widow. ",It is all a big adventure. As long as I am up front with myself and my partners, I reckon I can do what feels good and have a ball. No more fears of pregnancy, no more of those crazy messages like ',He',ll think you',re a slut', or ',He',ll think you are too easy',. What a load of rubbish all that was.", Performance problems. While these women usually find plenty of prospective partners keen to indulge with them, the ageing male body isn',t always up to it. When one of my older female clients contacts me with glad tidings – she',s met a lovely man and giving up dating to enjoy their new relationship – often she gets back in touch some months later to say they are struggling with an erection problem. That',s hardly surprising – with men in their 50s one man in two has some erectile dysfunction. By the 60s the numbers hit 60 per cent, 70 per cent for 70-year-olds. These are big numbers which means that lovemaking in this age group can often be a very bumpy road. Making matters worse is men often don',t want to talk about the problem. I',ve had a number of clients who have gone out for long periods with men who never touched them. A man may have good reason to take things slowly – an older father who still has youngish children may be just taking care not to get too quickly involved, given the high stakes for his family. There are also older men who just aren',t very interested in sex or who believe in waiting until the right person comes along – all sort of possible reasons why a man might not want to rush into a sexual relationship. But the erection issue looms large for many who prefer to avoid sex altogether than risk having sex and failing. The good thing is there are now very effective treatments available to help a man in this situation but it isn',t so easy for a woman to negotiate this with her new lover. ",It was all so hard, not wanting to pressure him into thinking I needed him to have a stiff dick. That was never the issue. He was the most generous and skilled lover and you don',t need an erection for giving pleasure. But I hated the fact he was feeling a failure and wanted to help him find a solution so he didn',t beat himself up over the issue,", commented one woman I helped through this difficult phase in their new relationship. So while some older online daters are enjoying all sorts of erotic adventures, many prefer to take it slow. The RSVP 2014 Nielsen research shows online dating is doing a good job helping these over 50s singles connect – 53 per cent report it',s led to a short-term relationship or new friendship whilst 12 per cent end up married or in long-term relationships. When to hop into bed. The research showed roughly a third of singles over 50 have slept with someone they met online.
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Older women seeking younger guys
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