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rules of dating and texting - franklinkelsey5 - 24-11-2025
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Article about rules of dating and texting:
| Mashable
Before meeting a date, or even afterward, it can be hard to know how frequently to message. How important is texting during the early stages of dating? David Roskin is a London-based freelance journalist covering pop culture, entertainment, relationships, and men's lifestyle.
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on April 16, 2025. Credit: Zain bin Awais / Mashable composite, boonchai wedmakawand / via Getty Images. With so many 'rules' around what to do and what not to do anymore, who the **** knows," laments a Reddit user on a post about texting etiquette whilst dating . The goalposts continue to shift in the dating world, from waiting for a phone call to come the next day to now, an age of constant contactability. So, what exactly are the rules of engagement for texting in the early stages of dating? As a relationship blooms, it can be hard to know what and how frequently to message. Difficult enough that Redditors have formed comprehensive "how-to" guides on navigating messaging in the "beginning stages" of a courtship. Some daters are keen to meet extremely quickly to the understandable discomfort of others , while others are happy to exchange lengthy messages until the situation enters pen pal territory. Even after meeting IRL, how much are you supposed to stay in touch between dates one and two (if the vibe is there), and you want to keep up the momentum but save something for in-person? How can we create an image of the person we're trying to get to know if all we actually know of them is words on a screen? Without inflection, personality, or anything beyond a blue box and white text? You May Also Like. Hookup apps for everyone. AdultFriendFinder — readers’ pick for casual connections. Tinder — top pick for finding hookups. Hinge — popular choice for regular meetups. Products available for purchase through affiliate links. If you buy something through links on our site, Mashable may earn an affiliate commission. How do we create intimacy in those early stages and keep it alive before dates, and can digital intimacy meet our needs like physical intimacy? We asked daters and the experts. How often should we be texting during early dating stages? Research by associate professor of psychology Dr Darcey N. Powell, then at Roanoke College and now at Texas A&M University-Corpus Christi, shows that in the early stages of dating, referred to as the talking stages , "there is less information shared, fewer physical acts of intimacy, and less commitment to the partner than when dating." When talking to Mashable's features editor and author Rachel Thompson in The Love Fix , Powell says these stages are "a balancing act of trying to protect oneself because you're unsure of what's going to happen, but people aren't good at breaking up with each other or being rejected." "I'll usually use a dating app to communicate up until a date has been set, and I'll probably check in once a day or maybe more if I'm really keen," says Polly, 29, an active dater from London. Polly, like other people Mashable spoke to, requested to go by their first name only for privacy reasons. "Ideally, I want to be texting somebody I'm dating roughly four times back and forth each day. If it's less than that, then I'd prefer the texts to be longer and more detailed," she says. By the time she meets someone in person, WhatsApp is her preferred method of communication. "I think the problem is that we know people are on their phones ALL the time, so we're now hardwired to expect people to respond instantly, and if they don't, we automatically assume they can't be that interested," says Polly. This feeling isn't unique. A 2016 Harvard sociology study revealed that 94 percent of respondents (all millennials) said receiving, writing, or waiting for text messages can make them anxious . Reddit users, too, have experienced this , seeking help on subreddits such as r/SocialSkills. Despite this common experience, the average American has 43 unread texts, according to 2021 research . "Hypercommunication [constant exchanges] can negatively impact relationships by fostering an over-reliance on asynchronous messaging as a measure of relationship success, rather than meaningful in-person connection," says Caitlin Begg, author of the 2016 study, sociologist, and founder of research firm Authentic Social . How do we create real intimacy? While some daters like to text about one's day, that's not the case for everyone. Mashable Trend Report. Decode what’s viral, what’s next, and what it all means. Sign up for Mashable’s weekly Trend Report newsletter. Use this instead. By clicking Sign Me Up, you confirm you are 16+ and agree to our Terms of Use and Privacy Policy. Thanks for signing up! "I only text if it's regarding planning or if I have a question. I hate being in constant contact with someone when I'm not physically with them," expresses a Reddit user in a comment on r/Dating Advice . "I am a big fan of spending time in person and if that isn't possible, incorporating FaceTimes or phone calls," says Allison Raskin, writer and relationship coach. "Having experiences together also creates intimacy because it creates memories and shows you what the other person is actually like in the world," Raskin continues, recognising that there is only so much you can glean through a screen.
Rules of dating and texting